One thing I don’t understand is why parents baby their children? & why some teachers expect us to baby our children?
If my kid forgets his basketball shorts for gym today at school & has to sit out for a day, LET HIM!
I am not obligated to drop what I’m doing out of my day to bring him shorts so he can participate in gym class for 40 mins. He will be better prepared next time.
School projects and homework aren’t any part of my existence either.
Of course I will always be there to help if needed.. but I don’t feel obligated to deliver forgotten items left behind at home.
How do we raise competent adults if we’re always doing everything for our kids?
It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them grow into successful human beings.
No, I don’t wake my child up for school. He has an alarm clock. If he wakes up late, that’s his responsibility & he needs to make whatever changes are necessary to make sure he gets his ass up for school on time. I bought the alarm clock & set the timer up on it for him, but it’s up to him to make use of it, not me. This is a skill he needs to learn on his own, because when he enters adulthood and gets a job, guess who won’t be his alarm clock? Me.
No, I don’t pack my childs lunch. My job is to supply the lunchbox & make sure there is food in the house so that they can eat breakfast and pack a lunch. (Julian eats at school, but best believe he packs his own snack every night!)
No, I don’t clean their rooms or make their beds. Every morning their room is a disgrace after getting ready for school. But they know that when they get home that the first thing they do is clean up their room & make their beds. Then they do their homework & eat a snack. They are not allowed to go outside to play or even play inside- until they handle their responsibilities.
No, I will not be that “overly-involved” parent that emails her kids teachers everyday. If my child has a problem with a teacher or coach, he is going to have to take it to the one in charge. There is no way that I am going to question a coach or email a teacher about something that should be between the authority figure and my child. I teach my children that if something is important enough to them, then they need to learn how to handle the issue themselves, or at least ask for my help.
No, I don’t interfere with their academics. Half the time I honestly couldn’t tell you what my kids are doing for school work. Yeah sure I ask them how their day was & what they learned at school, or anything cool they are working on. These apps and websites, where parents can go in and see every detail of children’s school grades and homework, are not helping the “overparenting epidemic”. Yes when I get their report cards I go over it with them and we figure out a way to get them grades up if they aren’t doing very well in a certain class, but I finished school almost 12 years ago, I have my own life, and I’m not obligated to learn what my kids are learning about in school.
In my childhood, this is what went wrong with me. I was baby’d and had every little thing done for me. My grandmother tied my shoes for me till I was like 12 (even tho I knew how to tie them myself, id wait for her to do it cause she did it everyday). No offense to you nana lol you did the best of your ability & I would never be mad at you for that. New generation tho = new rules. I’ll be damned if I do the same for my kids. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about my kids, in fact it means the total opposite. I care enough to give them the opportunity to make mistakes as a child & so they can learn how to correct them while they are still young.
Otherwise they won’t have a clue when they are adults. I don’t want my kids expecting everything to be fixed for them. I don’t want them to expect hand outs. I don’t want them thinking life is easy & that things will always work out in their favor. I don’t want them living in Lala land like half of these grown ass adults are in now. I want them to be successful, hard working, committed and dedicated, and most of all, I want them to know that nothing worth having, will come EASY!
To make it, you have to work hard in this world! So what makes you think that by doing everything for them, making their life easy now, could possibly have a good outcome when they enter adulthood in the next couple years?
I don’t care if anyone disagrees with me. My kids, my rules. If you disagree, that’s your opinion.. but you should be careful, cause I was one of those kids & I’m only speaking from experience. When I entered adulthood, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had a child when I was 17 years old, and had no sense of direction whatsoever. It took me a long time to finally get my shit together. But I’ve always been tough on my kids. I don’t let nothing slide & they know that. But I am always there for them & I always listen to their feelings & their thoughts and opinions & I’m always willing to compromise if it’s in their best interest. I’m not always right, nobody is. But kids need structure, discipline, and a vision of what or who it is that they want to become.
I always take time out to talk about the future & make sure they have a lot of different experiences beyond YouTube, TikTok & Xbox. If they don’t know anything else, don’t expect them to do anything else when they grow up... Just saying!
over-parenting eventually turns children into entitled fucks.. let them fail and learn to be resilient instead, before they enter adulthood. You’ll be doing you and your child the biggest favor of his or her life! They will be grateful and much more appreciative of you when they grow up!
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